Men's Blues - Wednesday 7th February 2018 - BUCS South Premiership - Southampton Home

“denique lingua latina audita, duros lumbos moveo”

Gabriel Henry Sinclair Barrie placed down his Parker fountain pen and looked over the Latin manuscript he had spent hours toiling over in the library of St Anne’s College, Oxford. Having spent the majority of the morning working on his masterpiece thesis (except for the multiple breaks to engage in more taboo activities in the library, a favourite past time of Gabriel and his fellow classicists), he was glad to submit his piece. He could now continue with the remaining items of his agenda for the day.

Gabriel packed up his laptop and waved goodbye to his companions who had also engaged in “study breaks” in the library and returned to his room. He donned his favourite faded Westminster school tracksuits and grabbed his lacrosse stick and trusty D of E rucksack. He searched desperately for his favourite fleece-lined hoody before noticing the time and realising he would reluctantly have to figure out what he’d done with it later. He began his expedition to the High Street of Oxford.

Here, Gabriel met fellow travellers Ben Reeves and Alex Harbord. Together they commented on how cruel the icy wind was, before hopping in a taxi because they could not face the trek up to the lofty heights of Horspath.

Unfortunately for Gabriel, he would not be stepping on the pitch for the Blues today. Having scored a meagre 7 goals (and 2 assists) in their previous BUCS match, Gabriel had been dropped from the team and designated to run the bench. After warming up the keeper, he watched the team warm up with a twinkle in his eye.

The first whistle blew. Oxford immediately dominated – the combination of a Scottish LSM and Power midi facing was too much for the Southampton midfield, resulting in immediate Oxford possession. Repeatedly clinical play from Oxford resulted in a stream of Oxford Goels and possessions, causing Southampton’s shorts to turn Browne. Dodges from offensive midfielders Alex Harbord and Jeff “my name’s Jeff” Smith, coupled with OULC veteran Ed Smith’s relentless offence from x proved too much for the Southampton defence launching Oxford further into the lead. Andrew Bithell managed to pry himself from the injured Theo Hayes, who had taken to sunbathing pitchside, to get on the pitch and drive more offensive play. The Blues defence: James “Charile” Kershaw, Dutch “Tim” Sweere and Tom Mun-did-you-know-I-row huddled together to stay warm in their prolonged periods of not being anywhere near the ball. Ben Reeves daydreamed about skiing back down into the centre of Oxford. In the short periods where Southampton mounted an offence, the Oxford poles easily stripped them of the ball, leading to yet more Dark Blue offensive sets. Some of these were successful, others not so much. One interception from the Keeper led to Co-Captain Cob Ronway finding himself in front of a wide open goal. Leading by a non-so-fantastic example and maintaining Oxford’s atrocious open goal record, Cob saw the keeper charging back to cage. His eyes lit up. He thought of the carnage that would be a crewdate with Brookes lacrosse in approximately 4 hours and 43 minutes. A smirk crept across his face before letting the ball rip. This smirk promptly turned to a look of exasperation as the ball missed the goal and glided off the back line. DotD was sealed, despite numerous attempts by Man U striker Andrew Bithell.

More lacrosse was played. There were ground balls. There were goals. There were people stood on the sideline, like Gabriel, getting cold. Eventually, there was a final whistle and an Oxford victory declared.

Southampton 1 – 14 Oxford
Rishi (3, 3)
Cob (3, 2)
Ed (3, 0)
Ryan (0, 2)
Harbord (0, 2)
Oli (2, 2)
Jeff (2, 1)
Bith (1, 0)