Women's Blues - Wednesday 15th November 2017 - Bristol Away

Blues vs Bristol 5.15pm Draw

(Bristol) 5.10pm, the ref blows the whistle, ‘Captains please’. The complicated variety of sidelines were explained (it’s a good job colour blindness is a male trait), the toss was done and just before returning to their teams, Zoe questioned if there was another ref joining us. ‘David is going to be 10 minutes late’ was the response, ‘please can we be civil and agree not to play under protest’. Zoe’s heart sunk. She realised that David was in fact Brucie, who she knew was reffing the swifts game in Oxford. However, given reports from the swifts home game had revealed a controversial ending earlier in the day, she did not fancy dealing with another complaint form today.


(Oxford) 7am David ‘Brucie’ Morris awakes to commence his morning routine: FB/ IG stalk OULC girls, polish pink boots, re-set is pedometer. Today was a big day. Brucie had undertaken what may on the surface seem perfectly reasonable, refereeing both of Oxford’s women’s teams. However, further investigations will lead you to discover that this was in fact a completely impossible: the swifts were playing against Nottingham at 2.45pm in uni parks whilst the blues were playing at 5.15pm in Bristol. Yes, that indeed left him optimistically with 1hr to make the journey from central Oxford to Bristol during rush hour. Whilst Brucie has many talents, time travel is not one of them.


(Oxford) 1.45pm Georgia pulls into Iflley car park which is unusually brimming at the seems. Nerves were high for the journey to Bristol as both Georgia and Bea were driving an MPV for the first time, they were also driving an automatic for the first time. After recent emails from sports fed regarding too many car park crashes, most probably targeted at Zoe’s recent bump in pre-season, there were strict instructions that we could not pay another excess.

1.55pm We safely left Iffley car park, MPV unscathed, all other cars unscathed, Zoe’s stress levels high.


(Bristol) 3.30pm We arrived unusually earlier for the game. Plenty of time for the team to use actual toilets for once.


(Bristol) 5.20pm The game starts with a slight delay, in the hope that it will give David a bit more time to get to the fixture. Oxford start exceptionally strongly with 4 unanswered goals and complete dominance on the pitch. This was the tale of much of the game. Whilst we struggled on draw controls, our midfield fight was incredible, creating turnover after turnover. One of many highlights included a great one-handed interception by Drewe in the midfield. By half time the score was 7-1 to Oxford. Brucie was still no-where to be seen.

The second half continued in a very similar vein to the first. Oxford were dominant all over the pitch. Some incredible periods of play from the defence left Bristol extremely frustrated, whilst at the other end of the pitch, attack were producing some great scoring opportunities. Lottie Hoskin nailed a one step free position, which combined with her incredible effort in midfield and defence to punish all her former team mates, earned her MOM.

6.25pm, 7mins 30secs left in the game. The pink boots of Brucie were seen emerging out of the darkness onto the pitch. He was present to witness 2 goals being scored. The M4 had not been kind to him. For this, he is awarded the women’s DOD.

The final score was 11-2 to Oxford. It was an exceptional team performance that leaves them still topping BUCS Southern Premiership.


(Somewhere on the M4) 7.08pm Zoe receives a message from Brucie, ‘Sorry for fucking up’.